Our grandmother has been gravely ill for the past weeks. She is 91, an age when medical decision become painfully difficult; some would say that if she becomes ill enough, nothing heroic should be done to rob her of a dignified closure to her life. Yet she has been one who would not have allowed such an evasive solution when she faced her life problems in her days. She was widowed soon after her marriage at the age of eighteen when her late husband of a few months was swept away before her by flood water. She became the sole parent to their only son at that tender age. Her status and her dedication towards her only child remains unchanged even today as she struggled with her illness. She put up with the trauma and stigmata of the loss and raised up her son(Jing's father) to become one of the most renowned and successful surgeon in his time. In return, he has devoted his retirement to the care of his ailing mother. Such was the happy end to a sad beginning till a few years ago when the inevitable happened. Due to her advancing age, her lower limbs began to show sign of degeneration.
Her right leg was amputated about two years earlier for gangrene due to poor circulation. The ascending gangrene caused so much pain then and was threatening her life to such an extent that her grandson- Jings's eldest brother- an orthopaedic surgeon himself had to forcibly amputate the sick right limb below the knee to save her life against her wishes. You see grandmother is illiterate and and her traditional thinking is that she has to be whole when buried and that losing a limb is a disgrace to the family as she views it as a curse to her past misdeeds probably in her previous life as she is quite sure that she has not committed any this life time to warrant this form of retribution. She accepted the loss of the limb after a few months but has shunned herself from all form of social exposure ever since.
About a month ago, the remaining left limb succumbed too to the same fate as its fellow limb and started to show signs of compromised blood supply as well. Just as I write, the extremity is starting to turn black with swelling and discharge as sign of diminishing blood supply and she was in agonising pain every minute worse at night enough to cause her to writhe out of bed and sustain a head injury which was not fatal two nights ago.
It is with this burden that Jing decided to drop all her responsibilities here and return home to do whatever possible to lessen her pain. Her grandmother is particularly close to her as she mothered her throughout most of her formative years as both her parents being busy doctors in the days of the cultural revolution could not attend to her needs most of the time.
Her intention was to nurse her, support her and most importantly to share the grace and love of God with her so that she too could savour the fruit of salvation in her own way.
Before her at this moment is the remnant of the giant lady who has loved and nutured her and taught her important live lessons, now reduced to a shadow of her past. She watched painfully each night at her curled up silhouette under the sheet, against the now constantly litted dim light to prevent another mishap; fresh bruises on her head reminding her of the pain from the recent fall, slightly bloated body from the serious illness under the sheet which is keeping her warm against the cold of the spring breeze. The emptiness under the sheet where her right limb used to be unfolding the pain she endured a couple of years ago and the remaining left limb swollen and oozing serous fluid due to the rapidly diminishing blood supply cause our grandmother to groan in agonising pain as she struggled to sustain her withering breath which is slowly slipping away.
It pained me so much listening to her described the helplessness she is facing. In spite of her frail state, Jing's sharing of the good news so far has only hardened her resolved to uphold her traditional believe and Buddhist philosophy rather than quickening her being to the working of the holy spirit for her to accept the gift of God.
Therefore, I urge you fellow brothers and sisters to remember Jing and our grandmother in your prayers.
- Pray that His mercy will be upon them both, lessened our grandmother's pain in particular so that she could listen to the prompting of the spirit and in a miraculous way she could respond to His grace and call of love and peace. Open the door into her life so that Jing can minister the power of His love unto her
- Pray too that the family would allow our grandmother to have a objective assessments by the anaesthetist and cardiologist for certification of her capability and worthiness to undergo another amputation to savage her life so that salvation could be worked out in her in accordance to His plan and
- grant Jing faith, wisdom and strength to withstand these difficult moments and to touch her family with God's love and perseverance.
Help us Lord as we struggle against time and the circumstances so that our faith could be strengthened. Whatever the outcome, we put our trust in thee counting on your faithfullness and mercy for we know Lord that you work all things for our own good. .............Amen
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